Friday, January 30, 2009

On Hold

All postings will be on hold for a while- 1 week max.
We got the keys to the house yesterday and it's all about the house right now.
I need to finish packing up our townhouse.
We plan on moving Sunday morning before the Superbowl.

Pictures of the house to come :)

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Year Later

The pain is still there. Some days, it's even more intense.
Somedays, I forget that he's no longer around.
I think that he's just in another country.
Then it hits me.
And it hurts so much.
It's a pain that I really cannot describe.
The tears have yet to subside.
It still boggles my mind tht there will never be another Christmas, another birthday, another whatever with him around.
I still have years and years to go before I see him again.
Every good news I want to share with him.
Every bad thing, I want him to reassure me that it will be ok.

I don't feel him around anymore. That makes me even more sad.

I miss you dad! I know you're happy wherever you are.
I know you're watching over us.
I love you. There is not one day that I don't think of you.
I know that who I am is because of all the values that you and mom have instilled in me. I will never forget all you've taught me.

RIP Orlando A. Bernardino
January 31, 2008


Cause I must be dreaming.
It suddenly occurred to me, while I'm here, sitting at my desk at work, sipping on my latte, that I am now a homeowner.
At 26, the hubby and I have bought our first house.
He is also starting a job as an LA City Firefighter.
I'm so excited for all that's about to happen.
Never in my wildest dreams, when I was growing up, could I have ever imagined this.
We did it though!

Some random pug pics...
Jamba during a walk with his grandpa

Cash during the same walk

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda


The hubby called with some exciting news.
We get our keys today at 1.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Let Go, Let Flow

That is def the mantra regarding the house...
with the escrow that seems like it'll never close.

We are sooo close, yet so far.
We have signed our loan docs, and are supposed to have it funded by tomorrow.
However, according to our escrow officer, we may now not have it funded til Monday.


With that said, I now may have to reschedule a few things like
-our furniture delivery.
-the UHAUL and the hubby's buddies.
-our shutters guy who needs to measure our windows.
-most importantly, our painter, who is going out of town next week.

I am sitting here laughing about all this.
Why, might you ask


I am helpless in this situation. I cannot control anything else... except my reaction to it at this point.
I am trying to keep a positive attitude.
That's the best I can do.
The Universe is definitely testing us. This is a test.

Life is GRAND!
Siper Panda

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Change of Tone

It's funny how things can change instantaneously.
This morning, I was totes excited about the house.
However, the excitement quickly wore off, and I am now totes agitated about it.
I am trying to not let it get to me though, but I think it might be too late for that.

The sitch is this...
We have now given an extension on our 30 days on our townhouse quite a few times.
We were hoping that the last time we gave notice would be the last.
We have everything scheduled for a Friday move- the truck, the friends, furniture delivery, etc.
H O W E V E R. the biggest problem of all is when we're going to get the painting done.
Our painters are ready to come in at a moment's notice. They are simply waiting for us to tell them so.
the biggest problem of all is when we are getting the keys.
It's now one giant clusterfuck.

I need to once again, just let things be. Things are happening for reasons unbeknownst to me. I know that in the end, it will all turn out alright.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

I'm So Excited!

So, we are counting down to moving day.
Friday is the target.
I am so excited!
I wasn't excited before, but now, it's on!

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Monday, January 26, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009


: \Com*pas"sion\, n. [F., fr. L. compassio, fr. compati
to have compassion; com- + pati to bear, suffer. See
Literally, suffering with another; a sensation of sorrow
excited by the distress or misfortunes of another; pity;

Womanly ingenuity set to work by womanly compassion.

Syn: Pity; sympathy; commiseration; fellow-feeling; mercy;
condolence. See {Pity}.

\Com*pas"sion\, v. t.
To pity. [Obs.] --Shak.

Such a strong word. Such a strong emotion.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Whatever You Resist, Persists!

And that's exactly what I've been doing.
Regarding everything.
Going through the motions, as numb as I can possibly be. Trying to run away from all the emotions.
However, it has caught up and bit me- HARD.
I am now facing the music, folks.
Have been for a couple of days now.

So with that said, I know I have been a grump, a bitch, a whatever else you can think of, please insert here, the past few weeks. I apologize for the way I've behaved, acted and reacted. It was truly uncalled for.
The fact of the matter is that I simply just refused to take the time to think about my reaction to certain events. I failed to realize that it's the only thing- out of all things that are going on, that I can control. I have definitely been resistant to the changes that are taking places- I was trying to manipulate them to better suit me.

I'm sorry.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

An Open Letter


Please do not ask me anymore when we're closing escrow on the house.
I let you know everytime something new pops up.
It is putting an enormous amount of pressure on me, and you and I both know that this is nothing I can control. It is out of my hands.
I know you'd like to know so that you can make plans. Trust me, I'd like to know too so I can make plans as well. However, like I've said many, many times- I can't pin down a date because nothing's for sure until our loan docs are released. Please understand. Please stop asking me questions.
You add pressure on me when you keep asking. It reinforces the fact that I am so much more helpless than I'd like to be in this situation. So, please, no more.
I will let you know when I know more- just like I've been doing since we embarked on this journey.


Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Sweet Release

Yes, the title sounds a bit gross, I know. I swear it is relevant to what I have to say though.

Anyhow, I have been having a hard time lately trying to just let things go and flow.
For a while, it seemed as if things were just constantly spiraling out of my control, and being the control freak that I am, I hated it. And still hate it. And things still are not within my control. Like escrow and closing on our house.
Yes, for the 5 millionth time, our escrow date has changed. So no moving this weekend. Maybe next Friday. Hopefully soon.
And this is what I'm wrestling with. Coupled with the fact that my dad's 1 year death anniversary is coming up. On the 31st.

2 giant things. 2 things that I am completely helpless about.
The house- because I cannot make the process go any faster. My dad- because I cannot change the outcome; he passed away last year, and this year, on the 31st, he would still be expired.

So, hence, as the post title suggests, I am waiting for a SWEET RELEASE.
A way to just let things be. To come to terms, if you will, with what is, rather than focusing on what isn't. And that is my prayer for today.

"Lord, grant me the serrenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."

I know that things are unfolding exactly the way they should be.
And that things are happening for a reason.
I just have to trust.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Twilight news

According to my reliable source, there are Native Americans protesting outside Summit Entertainment's building today because hte character of Jacob isn't being played by a real Native American. He's just part Native American.

Anyhow, the Native Americans are there blocking the street and the police have been called.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Monday, January 12, 2009

End of Year Gift

A talent, who shall remain nameless, gave me an awesome end of year gift, since he had an amazing year last year.
I have become the recipient of a week's worth of lodging in any of the Hilton Vacation Clubs, ANY Hilton Hotel or any timeshare resort in the world. It's good for 1 week for a 1 bedroom condo- or we can do 3-4 getaways if we did a studio.
The only catch is that we have to do it before 12.31.2010
It all works out perfectly since the hubby finishes his probation year with LA City in June 06 2010. We are def going on vacation!

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


I know I've been a bad blogger as of late.
I just haven't had the time. It's been nuts at work- except for this afternoon.
Plus, there's all the stuff with the new house- the house we have yet to move in to.
So, I'm just moving along and going with the flow, thus the lack of a post.
More to come when things slow down.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Monday, January 5, 2009

Brand New Year, Brand New You...

I am so excited as I feel 2009 has plenty in store for me...

Here's a few quick updates:

*we close escrow on our house in about a week or so.

And the biggest news of all is this...

Milo starts LA City's Fire Academy in February.
5 years in the making. Congrats Milo!

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

Meet Louis

Andi and I are def a dangerous pair- especially when it comes to shopping.
Happy New Year :)

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda