Jealousy

Sometimes I get jealous of the moms who do it all,
because sometimes I feel (or rather most of the time) that I am barely staying afloat.
And no one is throwing me a life jacket.

Life is GRAND!

Today

I am exhausted. Physically. Mentally.
I am just tired. I have been up with Hudson for the past 5 nights. Tonight would be night 6. Milo has been working so he's not able to help me out at night.
Yesterday, I didn't get a nap in during the day, so I'm sure that didn't help my exhaustion.
I cannot wait for the hubby's 4 day. That means that he will be helping me at night, and I should be getting more sleep- either throughout the day or at night.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do this- with school starting next week, and the hubby taking overtime.
Cue the music for the pity party. It starts now.

Life is GRAND!

Life as a mom

Life nowadays is completely different to what it once was.
Gone are the days of sleeping in and running off to wherever I want, whenever I want.
It is now dictated by a precious little boy, one that I am proud to say is mine, and he is just an angel.
I am now up every 3 hours with no help (especially on the nights when his daddy has work the next day) and consider myself lucky if I'm able to shower and eat at some point during the day. I consider myself especially lucky if I'm able to take a nap during the day. For most of the day, I am either peed on, spit on, or have throw up on me. Yet, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I love spending time with my little bug- watching him grow and change right before my very eyes. He already looks completely different from when we brought him home.
He is 1 month old tomorrow, and already time seems to be going by so fast.

Dear sweet baby Hudson,

I am so very lucky to be your mom. I am enjoying this journey with you.
Your daddy and I are very grateful that you are in our life, and cherish every moment we spend with you.
You are such a blessing and we love you very much.





Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

31 weeks

I think I am now somehow numb again to the life changing effects this baby will have on me. Either that, or I am trying so hard to focus on how great this experience is, that it's totally overshadowing the doubts and fears I have.
I truly hope it's the latter.
Christmas came and went, and well, our household wasn't much prepared for it.
I just couldn't bring myself to decorate this year, or have our annual Christmas party.
Bummer, I know.
Perhaps next year. Actually, next year, I know it will happen. There will be a 10 month old baby for whom I'll be doing all of it for. How's that for motivation?
Meanwhile, here I am on Christmas break trying to get ready. I am now nesting.
I have been cleaning and organizing up a storm.
My husband, I'm sure, is not very enthusiastic about it, since it implicates him in more ways than one. Plus, it highlights all of his messiness.
Yet, I still can't help but love him :)

30 weeks

Tomorrow, the hubby and I have our hospital maternity tour.
I booked it so long ago, and have been looking forward to it. However, today, it finally hit me.
Soon, and very soon, this baby is coming. Whether we're ready or not. And now, it's really hitting me, that no matter how hard I try to get ready, I'm never going to be fully prepared. My whole life is about to change, and I'm incredibly scared.
More than I have ever been my entire life.
My whole identity is about to change, if it hasn't already started to. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know myself.

Oops... I missed my 23 week mark

How far along?: 24 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +7 lbs. UGH! I'm sooo sad.
Maternity clothes?: Mostly bottoms, some tops.
Best moment this week: Still when I feel the baby move. He's actually more active now.
Movement: Plenty, esp. if he likes what he hears.
Food Cravings: A carne asada burrito from Daniel's Tacos
Gender: BOY
Belly Button: Still an innie.
Stretchmarks?: No newbies.
What I miss: wearing my normal, non maternity clothes. Boots.
What I am looking forward to: Baby classes that start tomorrow night.
Weekly Wisdom: Walk.
Milestones: Hmmm... nothing really that I can think of.

Pregnant, and loving it.

How far along?: 22 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Haven't weighed myself this week. I'm seriously dreading it.
Maternity clothes?: Mostly bottoms, some tops.
Best moment this week: Every time I feel baby Hudson move.
Movement: Plenty, esp. if he likes what he hears.
Food Cravings: Nothing really, at least not this week.
Gender: BOY
Belly Button: Still an innie.
Stretchmarks?: No newbies.
What I miss: Being able to get off the couch or out of bed without much effort. Not being out of breath.
What I am looking forward to: My baby boy. I fall in love with him more and more everyday.
Weekly Wisdom: Rest when you need it. I'm finding out that this is the best thing, esp. since I'm sick at the moment.
Milestones: Selling our Mini Cooper to make room for baby. We now own a Ford Edge, and I'm officially driving a mommy car.