Out of my element

Lately, I've been feeling so out of my element regarding work.
I think a huge part of it has to do with the schmoozing aspect of my job.
I have yet to schedule an actual lunch/ dinner on my own since my dad died. I have yet to attend any work function/ event since my dad died.

TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME.

I used to be a total social butterfly- always hanging out with friends and work people alike. However, for some reason, I can't bring myself up to it yet. Hence the reason I will not be at the Golden Trailer Awards this year. Yes, my mind is made up on that issue. However, I still cannot help but feel some sort of guilt about not being there. I feel such a huge tug between work and personal life, and it is SO INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not defined by what I do, however, this business that I'm in so not like other jobs. It encompasses all aspects of my life. I guess another reason why I'm so plagued by this is ecause next month, on June 13th, my mom's birthday again coincides with another work even- The Key Art Awards. This is an event that we did not go to last year, by choice. However, there's a push to go this year. Unfortunately, last year, I was in NYC for Promax (another work event) and missed my mom's birthday. See my dilemma here? Oh, what would Jesus do?

I have been slowly getting back into the swing of things though.
I started shopping again- which is a huge vice of mine. So, technically, in some way, I am getting ready for the lunches and meetings that I will have because I have tons of lost time to make up for.

Anyhow, enough griping. Good news- 14 lbs. lost :)

Life is GRAND- although confusing at times.
Super Panda