Fearful of Tomorrow

Tomorrow marks the first day back for my MIL.
It's almost been a month since she left for vacation.
The past few weeks have granted me so much emotional freedom- freedom from the stressful relationship that we now have.
Suffice it to say that I'm definitely not looking forward to a full day at the office with her tomorrow. My heart hurts and panic and anxiety are definitely kicking in. I'm an emotional wreck, not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
I know that on my end, time has not healed any pain. Perhaps it's because there was so much said- so many hurtful things that can never be taken back.
And that was a one way street. I took the high road on that one and shut my mouth. (Yes, there's a first time for everything).
So this whole month, I've been trying to desperately find a way out of my situation- I've applied for jobs, have cried my heart out in therapy, made jokes about the situation, and I even went on one interview. But the reality of it is this- I'm still living the same emotional nightmare. I'm still a wreck over the many heart breaking things that she said and accused me of, and the job hunt has not proven successful.
Even though I still refuse to give up my search for something better, I know that until I do have something else lined up, my emotional self will still be a wreck.
I am hoping that is something that will change soon.

Life is GRAND- even though it doesn't always turn out to be the way you want it to.
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