So for the past 3 nights, I've had the same recurring dream...
That my dad is dying.
He passed away January 31, 2008.
I have no idea what this could mean.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
A New Week, A New ME?
So lately, I've been having a hard time with the hubby being so engrossed with the Academy. Odd, I know because this is something we've both been waiting for, like forever. I think things happened way too fast, and we were both overwhelmed. I mean, we moved in to our house, then the week after, he started the Academy, so really there was no transition time for either one of us.
So since then, I've found myself kinda just wading through everything- like not really sure of what to do. I mean, I knew I had to support him and encourage him through this tough time, but really, I didn't know where I fell into the picture, other than being a supportive wife.
It's def been a weird time in our household...
That is until I gave in and bought the book- I Love A Firefighter, What the Family Needs to Know. I'm only a few pages in, but it's definitely helped me out a lot already- just knowing that other fire families have gone and are going through the same thing. I know that one of the biggest things, is that I don't know of another firefighter wife that's near me, except for my friend over at Wildland Firefighter's Wives
So I guess really, all I need is some sort of a community. Someone who can identify with and whom I can learn from regarding all this.
So with that, I started a search, and stumbled upon Firewives.com
And while perusing through the site, here's someone's post that I found...
"hope someone else feels the way I do sometimes. Just this past weekend I have found myself being more and more annoyed at the fact that my life revolves around everyone else to the extent that I cannot find time for myself by myself to do assignments when I want to.
I have to plan everything around my husband's schedule, what time he is working, whether he is coming home for the week or if they're away, what mood he will be in on what day depends on who we can go and visit.
I am very proud of my husband and I love that he is a fire fighter. But do you ever just want the world to revolve around you for a little while? Just so they can understand how hard it is?"
And that, really sums up my frustration. It was never something I could put in words for fear that it sounded a bit too selfish (and yes, I know I'm selfish at times but really, this felt a bit much)... but the reality of it is simply what this woman stated- that as a firefighter's wife, our lives revolve around other people. It's simply something I have to come to terms with. We have a lot of sacrifices that we have made as a firefighting family, and there's plenty more that we need to make. I am now absolutely resolved and am trying to come to terms with all of this... it's just that sometimes, I might falter and forget. It's definitely not easy, you know?
So, anyhow, at least I've figured out what the problem is, or at least have found someone else'w words that explain my frustration. Now, I just have to figure out how to be totes okay with it... At least for most of the time.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
So since then, I've found myself kinda just wading through everything- like not really sure of what to do. I mean, I knew I had to support him and encourage him through this tough time, but really, I didn't know where I fell into the picture, other than being a supportive wife.
It's def been a weird time in our household...
That is until I gave in and bought the book- I Love A Firefighter, What the Family Needs to Know. I'm only a few pages in, but it's definitely helped me out a lot already- just knowing that other fire families have gone and are going through the same thing. I know that one of the biggest things, is that I don't know of another firefighter wife that's near me, except for my friend over at Wildland Firefighter's Wives
So I guess really, all I need is some sort of a community. Someone who can identify with and whom I can learn from regarding all this.
So with that, I started a search, and stumbled upon Firewives.com
And while perusing through the site, here's someone's post that I found...
"hope someone else feels the way I do sometimes. Just this past weekend I have found myself being more and more annoyed at the fact that my life revolves around everyone else to the extent that I cannot find time for myself by myself to do assignments when I want to.
I have to plan everything around my husband's schedule, what time he is working, whether he is coming home for the week or if they're away, what mood he will be in on what day depends on who we can go and visit.
I am very proud of my husband and I love that he is a fire fighter. But do you ever just want the world to revolve around you for a little while? Just so they can understand how hard it is?"
And that, really sums up my frustration. It was never something I could put in words for fear that it sounded a bit too selfish (and yes, I know I'm selfish at times but really, this felt a bit much)... but the reality of it is simply what this woman stated- that as a firefighter's wife, our lives revolve around other people. It's simply something I have to come to terms with. We have a lot of sacrifices that we have made as a firefighting family, and there's plenty more that we need to make. I am now absolutely resolved and am trying to come to terms with all of this... it's just that sometimes, I might falter and forget. It's definitely not easy, you know?
So, anyhow, at least I've figured out what the problem is, or at least have found someone else'w words that explain my frustration. Now, I just have to figure out how to be totes okay with it... At least for most of the time.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Week in Review
This week I've:
* Benn ANNOYED one too many times. My annoyance level was at an 8- the entire week.
Slightly higher today. So high that the catch phrase of the day was "HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL". And I was serious.
* Had to say I'm sorry one too many times- even though it wasn't my fault. People screw up, and it's my job to say I'm sorry?
Hmm... people need to start taking responsibilities for goofing up more often.
Unfortunately, our business is very service oriented, hence the I'm sorry... for whatever reason.
* Had to remind someone of one of my Panda-isms: "Why would I do it myself, when I can totally pay someone to do it?" when he asked if I wash my dogs, or clean my house... and yes, this is really something I truly believe in. I believe in it so much, that the hubby has called me lazy, which is so NOT true... cause really, why would I do it myself when I can pay someone else???
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
* Benn ANNOYED one too many times. My annoyance level was at an 8- the entire week.
Slightly higher today. So high that the catch phrase of the day was "HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL". And I was serious.
* Had to say I'm sorry one too many times- even though it wasn't my fault. People screw up, and it's my job to say I'm sorry?
Hmm... people need to start taking responsibilities for goofing up more often.
Unfortunately, our business is very service oriented, hence the I'm sorry... for whatever reason.
* Had to remind someone of one of my Panda-isms: "Why would I do it myself, when I can totally pay someone to do it?" when he asked if I wash my dogs, or clean my house... and yes, this is really something I truly believe in. I believe in it so much, that the hubby has called me lazy, which is so NOT true... cause really, why would I do it myself when I can pay someone else???
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Thursday, March 26, 2009
LUCKY by Jason Mraz
This is my theme song...
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
And yes, I'm very lucky to be in love with my best friend and that we're in love in every way. I'm also lucky to have been where I have been. Life certainly has been good to me, and there's not a day that goes by that I'm not grateful for what we have.
Yes, I moan and groan about certain things at times, but I am ALWAYS grateful.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhhoohhhhohhooohhooohhooohoooh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
And yes, I'm very lucky to be in love with my best friend and that we're in love in every way. I'm also lucky to have been where I have been. Life certainly has been good to me, and there's not a day that goes by that I'm not grateful for what we have.
Yes, I moan and groan about certain things at times, but I am ALWAYS grateful.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
WARNING!
Annoyance level = 8
And it's only 11:21 am.
Damn!
It's rising pretty fast too.
I'm def not a big fan of Passive Aggressive people.
Say what you mean. Go ahead, I'm a big girl. I can take it.
No off handed comments. It's ridiculously annoying, esp. if you're older than me.
Act like a grown up. After all, we're all adults here.
Life is GRAND (although painstakingly annoying at times)
Super Panda
And it's only 11:21 am.
Damn!
It's rising pretty fast too.
I'm def not a big fan of Passive Aggressive people.
Say what you mean. Go ahead, I'm a big girl. I can take it.
No off handed comments. It's ridiculously annoying, esp. if you're older than me.
Act like a grown up. After all, we're all adults here.
Life is GRAND (although painstakingly annoying at times)
Super Panda
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Food for Thought
Mine and the hubby's hypnotherapist (not to be confused with my actual therapist) mentioned this to me today...
SHe said that while reading an article on being overwhelmed, this idea stuck to her-
That we get overwhelmed because our prayers are being answered, and they're being answered fast. Often times, we jsut don't know what to do with them all :)
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
SHe said that while reading an article on being overwhelmed, this idea stuck to her-
That we get overwhelmed because our prayers are being answered, and they're being answered fast. Often times, we jsut don't know what to do with them all :)
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
