Monday, March 30, 2009

A New Week, A New ME?

So lately, I've been having a hard time with the hubby being so engrossed with the Academy. Odd, I know because this is something we've both been waiting for, like forever. I think things happened way too fast, and we were both overwhelmed. I mean, we moved in to our house, then the week after, he started the Academy, so really there was no transition time for either one of us.
So since then, I've found myself kinda just wading through everything- like not really sure of what to do. I mean, I knew I had to support him and encourage him through this tough time, but really, I didn't know where I fell into the picture, other than being a supportive wife.
It's def been a weird time in our household...
That is until I gave in and bought the book- I Love A Firefighter, What the Family Needs to Know. I'm only a few pages in, but it's definitely helped me out a lot already- just knowing that other fire families have gone and are going through the same thing. I know that one of the biggest things, is that I don't know of another firefighter wife that's near me, except for my friend over at Wildland Firefighter's Wives
So I guess really, all I need is some sort of a community. Someone who can identify with and whom I can learn from regarding all this.
So with that, I started a search, and stumbled upon
And while perusing through the site, here's someone's post that I found...

"hope someone else feels the way I do sometimes. Just this past weekend I have found myself being more and more annoyed at the fact that my life revolves around everyone else to the extent that I cannot find time for myself by myself to do assignments when I want to.

I have to plan everything around my husband's schedule, what time he is working, whether he is coming home for the week or if they're away, what mood he will be in on what day depends on who we can go and visit.

I am very proud of my husband and I love that he is a fire fighter. But do you ever just want the world to revolve around you for a little while? Just so they can understand how hard it is?"

And that, really sums up my frustration. It was never something I could put in words for fear that it sounded a bit too selfish (and yes, I know I'm selfish at times but really, this felt a bit much)... but the reality of it is simply what this woman stated- that as a firefighter's wife, our lives revolve around other people. It's simply something I have to come to terms with. We have a lot of sacrifices that we have made as a firefighting family, and there's plenty more that we need to make. I am now absolutely resolved and am trying to come to terms with all of this... it's just that sometimes, I might falter and forget. It's definitely not easy, you know?

So, anyhow, at least I've figured out what the problem is, or at least have found someone else'w words that explain my frustration. Now, I just have to figure out how to be totes okay with it... At least for most of the time.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

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