Yes, my scheduled meeting is not happening tomorrow because jury duty calls... not for me, but for my principal. Oh well, such is life. Things are happening according to God's plan.
And now, for a little venting session.
I most certainly cannot wait until I am out of here. Here meaning my current place of employment.
Everyday something new pops up, but it's mostly a different version of whatever issue my MIL has with me. Her latest issue being that I'm leaving.
And seriously, everyday I put on a happy and brave face. One that says I'm leaving, so I'm doing what I have to do here. But since I'm such a nice person, I'm always accomodating her. And she continues to be cold and mean and rude to me.
Everyday.
I know this has to end someday. I know things have to get better sometime.
When, I'm not quite sure.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Oh, and please help me to endure what's left here. It's not much longer.
Help make the days go by swiftly, and my interactions with her short.
Amen.
Life is GRAND- just a few setbacks, sometimes.
Super Panda
Showing posts with label MIL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MIL. Show all posts
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I KNOW what's best for ME...
It is my life after all.
I have taken the high road on most of the stuff that has gone on with my MIL as of late.
And that's what I'm continuing to do. Just when I thought we were moving on, and working on repairing our broken relationship, it seems that she's still harboring a major issue. The issue being that I'm on my way out.
She seems to not be able to handle this. Just today, I found out that she doesn't support my choice. She thinks that I'm making a terrible mistake, because she has friends that hate their teaching jobs. Could it be that they're just too old, and perhaps, just maybe need to retire? I mean, clearly, if you don't enjoy what you're doing, then perhaps you should no longer be doing it.
Hence the reason I'm leaving... cause I no longer enjoy what I do. It was never my dream to work for her, granted it has given me many tremendous opportunities that I am and will forever be grateful for.
I think the reason why I'm having such a hard time with this whole thing regarding my MIL is because at one time, she was my mentor. I looked up to her tremendously. And I guess as the saying goes, "you should never put anyone on a pedestal, because sooner or later, they will fall, and you will just be disappointed." And that's exactly what's going on. I admired her, and truly believed her to be a certain way. I refused to see her faults, and look where we are now. I am so bothered that she thinks I'm making a mistake by leaving. My reasons for leaving may not be the right or the best reasons for her, but the reality of it is, they are the BEST and the RIGHT reasons for me (and the hubby). In the end, that's all that truly matters.
So, really... I know that she might be disappointed because my choices strongly differ from hers. This is MY life. It feels so free and empowering to be making decisions for me, for once in my life. The choices I've made in the past were always made to make someone else happy. That's done now.
I'mma do me. And it's a great feeling.
So, to the naysayers, watch me... I'm making the right choices and changes are on their way. I'm one day closer, everyday.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
I have taken the high road on most of the stuff that has gone on with my MIL as of late.
And that's what I'm continuing to do. Just when I thought we were moving on, and working on repairing our broken relationship, it seems that she's still harboring a major issue. The issue being that I'm on my way out.
She seems to not be able to handle this. Just today, I found out that she doesn't support my choice. She thinks that I'm making a terrible mistake, because she has friends that hate their teaching jobs. Could it be that they're just too old, and perhaps, just maybe need to retire? I mean, clearly, if you don't enjoy what you're doing, then perhaps you should no longer be doing it.
Hence the reason I'm leaving... cause I no longer enjoy what I do. It was never my dream to work for her, granted it has given me many tremendous opportunities that I am and will forever be grateful for.
I think the reason why I'm having such a hard time with this whole thing regarding my MIL is because at one time, she was my mentor. I looked up to her tremendously. And I guess as the saying goes, "you should never put anyone on a pedestal, because sooner or later, they will fall, and you will just be disappointed." And that's exactly what's going on. I admired her, and truly believed her to be a certain way. I refused to see her faults, and look where we are now. I am so bothered that she thinks I'm making a mistake by leaving. My reasons for leaving may not be the right or the best reasons for her, but the reality of it is, they are the BEST and the RIGHT reasons for me (and the hubby). In the end, that's all that truly matters.
So, really... I know that she might be disappointed because my choices strongly differ from hers. This is MY life. It feels so free and empowering to be making decisions for me, for once in my life. The choices I've made in the past were always made to make someone else happy. That's done now.
I'mma do me. And it's a great feeling.
So, to the naysayers, watch me... I'm making the right choices and changes are on their way. I'm one day closer, everyday.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Your Best Days Are Yet to Come
And I wholeheartedly believe in that.
I know that for a while, dark clouds hovered over me.
However, the sun is now shining brightly.
For the first time, in a really long while, I feel like myself.
My MIL and I are being completely honest and genuine with each other.
She's been really supportive of me finding a job. She even knows I have an interview tomorrow! I definitely feel that our relationship is on the mend, and that me leaving is the best thing that I could do for both of us.
We're even planning on having them over for dinner next week :)
I know that great things are in store for me.
Great things such as a teaching job.
I know that for sure.
Things are working out just as they should. I'm grateful for it all.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
I know that for a while, dark clouds hovered over me.
However, the sun is now shining brightly.
For the first time, in a really long while, I feel like myself.
My MIL and I are being completely honest and genuine with each other.
She's been really supportive of me finding a job. She even knows I have an interview tomorrow! I definitely feel that our relationship is on the mend, and that me leaving is the best thing that I could do for both of us.
We're even planning on having them over for dinner next week :)
I know that great things are in store for me.
Great things such as a teaching job.
I know that for sure.
Things are working out just as they should. I'm grateful for it all.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Closing a Chapter
Sometime this afternoon, my MIL approached me and asked me to come in to her office. I obliged. Not that I really had a choice :)
We talked shop for a bit, but then the inevitable "talk" happened.
She asked me what my plans are... I asked her if she meant in the long run and she said yes.
And so I did myself and her a favor and told her about my plans about becoming a teacher. I told her this was the reason I was going back to school- to earn my masters and credentials. I told her that I'm grateful for everything she's done for me, but I do believe this is the right step for me because we're planning on starting a family soon, and I want to be able to have time with my children.
She asked me a few basic questions- how are we going to make it financially?
If I'm sure. And then others I cannot remember.
I told her I'm not quite sure of the answers, but that we'd figure it out somehow. That we've always been taken care of, and that I just have to trust and believe that we're going to be okay.
She laid out the rules- told me I cannot tell any talents, nor any vendors. I agreed. I did tell her that I told the Halfie, because after all, she is one of my closest friends. We still have to work out logistics- time frames, etc. but I think we're going to be ok. I know she needed to know so that her business is taken care of, as well as our talents. I would never have taken that right away from her by simply leaving with no more than a few weeks notice.
She told me that she wishes nothing but the best for me, and that she thinks this will be better for both of us. I told her I hope for the same.
So with that, my friends, I have been liberated.
Not fired- because I still have a job and still work here, but I've been given the green light.
Given the green light to pursue my dreams, with no guilt or shame.
BITTERSWEET. That's the word that comes to mind. Bitter because I have met a ton of people, and have enjoyed all the perks and allowances that my job provided (and still continues to provide). Sweet because I feel free- free to live my own life, have a career of my choosing, rather than just living out someone's idea of what my life should be like, and also because I now feel so much more in control of my own destiny. Much more so than I have ever felt.
I am also a wee bit scared- scared that I may not have a job anytime soon. Scared that we may not make it.
HOWEVER, those have have never been options for me. And clearly, they still are not options for me, so I won't indulge. I do however, reserve the right to once in a while vent and air out my frustrations and fear.
But for now, I will bask in the moment. Bask in how peaceful everything came about.
There were no tears, no mean comments, no below the belt remarks. It actually felt like a conversation that we should have had a long time ago. It was a conversation that felt sincere and genuine.
And for that I am grateful. I certainly could not have imagined it going this well, no matter how many times I've replayed this scenario in my head.
I feel that things are progressing. In their own way. Things are happening just as they're supposed to.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
We talked shop for a bit, but then the inevitable "talk" happened.
She asked me what my plans are... I asked her if she meant in the long run and she said yes.
And so I did myself and her a favor and told her about my plans about becoming a teacher. I told her this was the reason I was going back to school- to earn my masters and credentials. I told her that I'm grateful for everything she's done for me, but I do believe this is the right step for me because we're planning on starting a family soon, and I want to be able to have time with my children.
She asked me a few basic questions- how are we going to make it financially?
If I'm sure. And then others I cannot remember.
I told her I'm not quite sure of the answers, but that we'd figure it out somehow. That we've always been taken care of, and that I just have to trust and believe that we're going to be okay.
She laid out the rules- told me I cannot tell any talents, nor any vendors. I agreed. I did tell her that I told the Halfie, because after all, she is one of my closest friends. We still have to work out logistics- time frames, etc. but I think we're going to be ok. I know she needed to know so that her business is taken care of, as well as our talents. I would never have taken that right away from her by simply leaving with no more than a few weeks notice.
She told me that she wishes nothing but the best for me, and that she thinks this will be better for both of us. I told her I hope for the same.
So with that, my friends, I have been liberated.
Not fired- because I still have a job and still work here, but I've been given the green light.
Given the green light to pursue my dreams, with no guilt or shame.
BITTERSWEET. That's the word that comes to mind. Bitter because I have met a ton of people, and have enjoyed all the perks and allowances that my job provided (and still continues to provide). Sweet because I feel free- free to live my own life, have a career of my choosing, rather than just living out someone's idea of what my life should be like, and also because I now feel so much more in control of my own destiny. Much more so than I have ever felt.
I am also a wee bit scared- scared that I may not have a job anytime soon. Scared that we may not make it.
HOWEVER, those have have never been options for me. And clearly, they still are not options for me, so I won't indulge. I do however, reserve the right to once in a while vent and air out my frustrations and fear.
But for now, I will bask in the moment. Bask in how peaceful everything came about.
There were no tears, no mean comments, no below the belt remarks. It actually felt like a conversation that we should have had a long time ago. It was a conversation that felt sincere and genuine.
And for that I am grateful. I certainly could not have imagined it going this well, no matter how many times I've replayed this scenario in my head.
I feel that things are progressing. In their own way. Things are happening just as they're supposed to.
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Thursday, May 21, 2009
My DUH! Moment
So yesterday morning, while walking with the Brit and Baby C, she mentioned that perhaps my MIL (that means Monster In Law, for those who aren't in the know), probably thinks that I'm looking to steal some of her clients. The Brit goes on to say that she probably knows you're looking for another job, and might take some talents with you.
And the light came on.
That yes, perhaps she is thinking that I'm looking for another job in this crazy business we're in. BUT, she is OH SO WRONG! Because I'm looking for another job in a completely different field.
And so I told the hubby this last night, and he said "DUH!"
And he proceeded to tell me that he thought the exact same thing.
Clearly, I've been to wrapped up in my own thoughts that I never even considered what she could be thinking. Frankly, I just didn't care.
Imagine her surprise when I tell her I'm leaving. Leaving to teach.
YAY ME :)
TEAM SUPER PANDA ALL THE WAY!
HA!
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
And the light came on.
That yes, perhaps she is thinking that I'm looking for another job in this crazy business we're in. BUT, she is OH SO WRONG! Because I'm looking for another job in a completely different field.
And so I told the hubby this last night, and he said "DUH!"
And he proceeded to tell me that he thought the exact same thing.
Clearly, I've been to wrapped up in my own thoughts that I never even considered what she could be thinking. Frankly, I just didn't care.
Imagine her surprise when I tell her I'm leaving. Leaving to teach.
YAY ME :)
TEAM SUPER PANDA ALL THE WAY!
HA!
Life is GRAND!
Super Panda
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Helicopter In- laws
I def have a pair.
They are up for grabs. Any takers? I'm giving them away for free!
Husband NOT included.
I believe that at the age of 26, almost 27, that the hubby and I are entitled to our own lives.
That means that when we want to have people over (for any occasion) that we are entitled to do so.
We own our own house, we work hard for our money, and hence, this is a right we have earned.
This means that at our discretion, we can invite whomever we want, and vice versa.
However, my MIL has a different point of view.
After I have told her TWICE that this event that's happening at our house is for friends only, she still has invited herself.
To stop by. Which doesn't really mean that.
What to do? What to do?
I have prayed, I have cried. I am now just plain angry. The hubby can't help. He's unaware of what's happening since it's a birthday surprise.
I feel so alone in this. I also feel so helpless.
Definitely a bad combination.
Why, oh why, must you rain on my parade?
Life is GRAND- just a little sucky at the moment.
Super Panda
They are up for grabs. Any takers? I'm giving them away for free!
Husband NOT included.
I believe that at the age of 26, almost 27, that the hubby and I are entitled to our own lives.
That means that when we want to have people over (for any occasion) that we are entitled to do so.
We own our own house, we work hard for our money, and hence, this is a right we have earned.
This means that at our discretion, we can invite whomever we want, and vice versa.
However, my MIL has a different point of view.
After I have told her TWICE that this event that's happening at our house is for friends only, she still has invited herself.
To stop by. Which doesn't really mean that.
What to do? What to do?
I have prayed, I have cried. I am now just plain angry. The hubby can't help. He's unaware of what's happening since it's a birthday surprise.
I feel so alone in this. I also feel so helpless.
Definitely a bad combination.
Why, oh why, must you rain on my parade?
Life is GRAND- just a little sucky at the moment.
Super Panda
