Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The days of the week

Everyday...

I do just a little bit, in the hopes that the Universe will meet me half way.
Ok, that's a lie.
It's become my second job to look for a teaching job. But really in the hopes that the Universe will provide.
I would LOVE a teaching job at a private school that will allow me to teach with just my Bachelor's while I work on my credentials.

Everyday...
I struggle- with the emotions, the doubts, the sadness that lingers from last week's events.
Again, words have been said. And they have left ginormous scars.

Everyday...
I panic. Just a little bit. Ok, a little bit more than a little bit.
I need a teaching job for the coming school year.
That means by August or September, preferrably sooner because I can't be in the land of the unknown and uncertainty for that much longer. I really just don't belong here. Plus, I really can't see myself doing what I'm doing now for another year.
However, I am learning- to trust. That all will work out well.
And I know they will. God loves me that much.

Everyday...
I ask for prayers to help keep me going through this difficult time.
Prayers that I find a new job. Prayers that things get easier someday soon.
Prayers that it will all come out roses in the end.

Everyday...
I am grateful. I am grateful that I have a loving husband who is encouraging me in this new direction, because not only does it affect my life, but his as well.
I am grateful that I have a loving family who supports me in the decisions that I have had to make in just a short amount of time. Grateful that my mom calls me everyday to see how I'm doing because she knows I'm struggling. Mother's Instinct, I'm guessing. I am grateful that I have such wonderful friends who are my biggest cheerleaders. I am grateful for everyone that has been my saving grace and who continue to be. I love you all, and your words and actions mean so much. Thank you.

And lastly, I'm sorry.
I know I've been a downer lately. I've been the kind of person who really hasn't been that much fun to be around. All I've done is talk about my misery, my fears, my concerns. For all of that, I apologize.
I promise it won't always be like this. I promise that deep down, the cheerful me that you're all used to is there. I promise- because I have to believe in that too.

Things will get better in time. So, hang in there with me.

Life is GRAND!
Super Panda

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really admire your spirit and grace in handling everything. You go, girl!

Karen Grace said...

Hey, we all have those melancholic moments, no need to apologize. Hang in there. Like you said, things do get better! See you soon!